From a Singles Lens, You are Not Broken
- Deborah M. Jackson
- Aug 9, 2025
- 2 min read
I wish I could say my life as a single person has been entirely lovely, content, fulfilling, and problem-free with Christ — but it hasn’t. This week, I told someone how I never imagined my years of singleness, with all their feelings of failure and experiences of disappointment, were preparing me for anything. But that’s often how God works — shaping us quietly in seasons we would never have chosen.
Over the years, I’ve been part of church experiences as a single where I grew weary — and yes, sometimes downright irritated, discouraged, and even angry — listening to well-intentioned marrieds tell singles about the 'right' and 'wrong' ways to live. I’ve attended conferences led by well-known pastors and spiritual leaders —
95% of them married, and married longer than they were ever single — attempting to address topics like lust, loneliness, dating, and love. Too often, their teaching, though cloaked in Scripture, left behind a trail of shame and guilt.
Rarely did I hear anything truly tailored to the diversity of singles’ experiences — our generational differences, personal stories, upbringings, beliefs, values, wounds, or discernment journeys. The unspoken message was often: 'How do I get married so I can have a happy life like yours?' or, 'How do I find my soulmate so I won’t sin before marriage?' or worse, 'I’ve already crossed a line, so I’d better hurry to marry so God won’t be angry with me.' Just writing those words is exhausting.
In my journey, I’ve met divorced singles in their 60s, widowed singles in their 40s, and never-married singles in every decade of life — all navigating deep questions about faith, friendship, calling, and connection. It has taken me decades of learning, unlearning, and growing to stand in this truth: I am single. I am a minister. I am a counselor. I am God’s daughter. And He loves me — period.
That’s why I believe now is the time for Soulfull Singles
— a space for honest, Christ-centered conversations that reach the deeper layers of our lives as singles: wholeness, loneliness, purpose, grief, desire, and more. This is not a dating event. There’s no pressure, no performance — just space to gather, reflect, be encouraged, and draw closer to the Lord within your singleness.
If you’re local, I would love for you to join our preview gathering on Wednesday, August 28.
We’ll meet in a private venue (details shared after RSVP).
The gathering is free — simply RSVP so we can prepare for you.
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